BOOM !!!

Strolling down memory lane tonight. . . My 2nd marriage was a disaster...No more marriages for me. We lived down in the Southwest corner of Arkansas, in the Ozark Mountains. No mosquitoes but those huge black flies. Ugh. They were too much to deal with. After a few years I was ready to move back to the Northeast corner of Arkansas. We moved into a camper at his parent's house until we could find an apartment. After being out with friends one night, we came home to find the heater pilot light has gone out. It was hooked to a big propane tank outside. I reached down to shut the valve off so we could air the place out. It smelled like spoilt eggs. Before I could get the valve off, my ex had pulled out his lighter to give me light to see it and before I could say NO !! BOOM !!! I literally saw everything light up in a Bright color of Orange and watched the walls of that camper bowing out. The door got blown off its hinges. That is more than likey what saved us and that camper. When my ex husband turned around I couldn't help myself I busted out laughing. Both his eyebrows were gone and part of his mustache looked melted. I just couldn't help it everytime I thought of how he looked when he turned around I would bust out laughing. You would think I would have been upset. That BOOM was so loud everyone on the whole street came running out of their houses. Afterwards, I walked around laughing for 2 days. Why I thought that was funny, I have no idea. Probably just my way of dealing with that situation. Everyone looked at me like I had gone nutso. Everytime I think back on it now, all I can think of is what would have happened if that door hadn't blown off. I was very thankful I was standing behind him when it blew up. Later I found out, they add that smell to the gas so it warns people that there is gas present. Terror and absurdity all tangled together. That's not the first time I coould have died. I'll have to stroll down memory lane again soon. I seriously wonder was I a cat in a past life. If so I've used up 4 or 5 of those 9 lives they say cats have 🙃

It's Official...

I have definitely gotten my days and nights mixed up. I took a four hour nap after dinner yesterday and then up through the night.That was my routine when I worked 3rd shift at the hospital. As I'm writing this, it is 12:15 a.m. Aug 7th. Just random thoughts this mornjng. It will be 4 or 5 a.m. when I finally get tired enough to lay down. Just a few more days and the " Dog Day's of Summer " Will be over. Astronomical Origin: The phrase comes from the Latin diēs caniculārēs, meaning "dog star days." Ancient cultures believed the star Sirius, known as the "Dog Star," combined its heat with the Sun’s, causing the intense summer temperatures. When actually...The heat during these days is due to the tilt of the Earth, which causes the Sun’s rays to hit the Northern Hemisphere more directly. Interesting " tilt of the earth ". Kinda makes me wonder, what flat earthers have to say about that. Me I stay out of that discussion. I've listened to both sides of the arguments over round or flat earth. It does though make one stop and wonder about it. Changing the subject but, I can remember in the late 1960's and early 1970's actually believing that crude oil solely came dead dinosaurs. Now they do still say Crude oil forms from ancient marine and lacustrine (near lakes) microorganisms (e.g., algae, zooplankton, bacteria) that died and were buried. Sinclair Oil Company used a brontosaurus mascot to signify the ancient age of their product. Do any of you remember that? One summer my Dad kept saying, we need to go get some of that "Kick A Poo Gas". we just laughed at him, thinking he made it up. The whole family piled into the car for a Sunday drive. After an hour or so we pull into a gas station and sure enough, the sign on the station said Kick A Poo gas here. I have no idea where we was as searching the past, they say there never had any stations in Arkansas. kinda thinking since it was the hot topic at the time, the guy just hung a sign up to maybe get more customers. I loved those Sunday drives except for the gravel roads, especially the old rickety bridges. It never failed he would stop right in the middle of those bridges. Some had parts of their boards missing and you could see straight down at the water through the holes

Miss. Sheeva Marie

Yesreday, Beth (my daughter) and I were in the kitchen. Her kitten Sheeva was head first down in a package of dum dums. She pulled out a Sour Apple and put it on the table. Beth put it back in the bag and Kenny her fiancé put the bag up. Well, Beth put the bag back on the table to see what Sheeva would do and sure enough she went back into that bag and pulled out another lollipop "Sour Apple ". Beth and I moved to the frontroom. It wasn't long and we hear a lollipop hit the floor. Beth got up to look and it was the same flavor. We went back to chatting and laughing and the whole time Sheeva is busy in that bag. when we got up to look there was several lollipop on the floor and they were "Sour Apple". I think she is telling us what her favorite flavor is or at least her favorite smell. LOL Sour Apple

Do You Believe?

A Few nights after Tony passed away, I said outloud. I need to know your watching over us. I was watching a documentary on You Tube. I had a dinner tray in front of me and had my computer and cigarettes with lighter sitting on top of it. Blu and I both jumped at the same time when my lighter fell off my pack of cigarettes. The table was a full foot away from the couch. I sat there and stared at that lighter and then said Thank You. They say ask for something that seems impossible. I actually couldn't think of a single thing. I actually believe in spirits leaving us signs. Although when I worked at the hospital it was more pranks than signs. I started out on 1st shift there and one day another housekeeper and I were standing at her cart chatting. The carts were metal and had a metal lip around the whole top to keep you equipment from falling off. In the middle of one of her sentences a spray bottle just jumped off her cart and fell to the floor. We both looked at each other and then the bottle and back to each other. Both of our eyes could not have gotten any wider open than they were. We both actually laughed. When I started 3rd shift, I went in to clean a room. I always would raise the bed up high so I wouldn't have to bend over and then would spray it down with disinfectant so it could sit the required 10 minutes while I cleaned the rest of the room. I went over to start cleaning the sink area and in the mirror I see the bed going down. I walked back over and attempted to push the up button but the bed wouldnt raise back up. I proudly announced to the room. Thats fine, you have your fun but that is going to make my back really ache bad having to stoop over and in the mirror I see the bed going back up. Always polite I tell the room Thank You. After my Mom passed and my first night back to work I was going into a room to clean it. There was a male nurse in there gathering up all the equipment they had used on the patient. I start as usual with the bed and I heard the name Suzy Q whispered. I turn to him and Im thinking that wasn't a male voice and besides only my Mom called me that as my middle name is Sue. I turned back to start spraying the bed and the nurse says " Are we just going to pretend we didnt hear that voice say Suzy Q "? I didnt think he had heard it. He laughed and said " Well I'm not Suzy Q. So who is "? I told him " me ". He thought it was really neat. Before the night was over the whole staff in the hospital was talking about it. I have so many stories from my 20 years working there. Someone asked me one time didn't those events freak me out and I honestly had to say no. I certainly didn't ask for them but just accepted them as they happened. Never thought of them as scary but I never saw any people walking around who had passed on, as that would have shook me up for sure.

Living with COPD

Living with COPD, especially when the weather is extremely hot or cold is challenging. All the years that I smoked, that could be the main reason for my shortness of breathe. To be honest, my shortness of breathe came upon me during the pandemic. Working in a hospital in housekeeping is challenging enough on it's own, but I was the only housekeeper who handled what we called the tower (10 floors of rooms) on the 3rd shift. 8 hours of cleaning rooms with a mask on was not an easy task, especially when I was getting paged for back to back STAT cleans on rooms. In August I went into work with a really bad summer cold, they took my temperature, sent me down to the ER and I got tested and they said it was positive and sent me home. I was home almost 2 weeks before they let me go back to work. My breathing has never been the same since all that happened. They gave all the employees an ultimatium. Either get the vaccine or be fired, I chose early retirement. Vaccine or no Vaccine, I knew my working in a mask was just not going to continue. Now since I've moved to Arkansas I have had 2 acute COPD attacks. 1st one had me in the ER. I started home treatments with a nebulizer. My first visit with my Dr. had me walking up and down the hallway to see just how low my oxygen was going. Thank goodness my daughter went with me as I really didn't think I was going to make it up and down that hallway by myself. So now I'm on oxygen as needed at home. My 2nd acute attack was not as bad as my first and it helps that I have the equipment here to help take care of it. plus I have maintenance meds. I never realized how much energy your body puts out when it's struggling to breathe. I was struggling when Tony went into the hospital and on my last Dr. visit, over a few month's ago I had lost weight. I was thinking with all those Cup A Soups I eat, I would have gained. We are under another extreme heat warning for the next 3 days. I will be staying inside and eating my Cup A Soups. LOL

Just Me

I've discovered, at least for me, there's a huge difference in depression and sadness. When I went through clinical depression, I didn't care where I was or if I even changed clothes. I just wanted to be alone. I could sit and do absolutely nothing for hours and hours. I would make myself eat, but cry the whole time I was eating as my emotions were so jumbled up, I couldn't distinguish one fron the other. With sadness I want to eat, just have a hard time eating a regular meal. I usually have a few bites of dinner then cook me Cup A Soups later, which drives my daughter crazy. When I'm alone I want to be around people and when I'm around people I want to be alone. I at least try occupying my time with shows, movies or games on my phone. I do tend to sleep a lot. I still can't watch any of the shows Tony and I watched together everyday. I know this does not make sense to most people but when I was depressed the crying would be from the racing thoughts in my head. With grief it's from my heart, a longing for what I know will never be again. Both cause confusion, the inability to make a decision or if you do then you second guess was it the right decision. In truth, I was sad long before Tony passed. Watching his health fail over the years, knowing my time was limited with him. He mentioned on numerous occasions that he was tired. Tired of the dizzy spells, tired of the confusion, tired of not knowing what was wrong with himself. I am learning to breathe again. We all have good and bad days. I'm taking it one day at a time. I am very grateful for the support I get. I guess the biggest lesson I have learned is reach out to family and friend's when you need help. You will discover you are surrounded with love and support.

Summer Heat

I remember the first year the heat index in Jonesboro Arkansas hit 113°. My Dad took a picture of it on the T.V. My Greatgrandma Sharpe would tell me of the times the heat would be so oppresive that they would sleep outside in the breezeway of the house. My allergies got so bad one summer, that all I could do was constantly sneeze. I think it kept my parents awake as they took me to the family Dr. He suggested a window air conditioner unit, to filter out the pollen that was causing all the sneezing. I felt like I was in heaven, no sneezing and I was comfortably cool. Much better than the breeze from the window created by the attic fan we had.