Daylight Breaks

Daylight breaks, another day without Tony. I still wake up thinking I need to get up and get our day started. I'm going over my list in my head, thinking about all the things that need to be done. Then I remember. I'm not at home. Tony is gone, and I don't have all those things to do anymore. Five years of having each day follow the same routine is a hard habit to break. I retired from the hospital as Tony's dementia began requiring a 24/7 caretaker. Every day, we were up at 5 a.m., and my day didn't end until I'd gotten him settled in bed with the TV on at 7 p.m. Now, I haven't quite figured out what to do with all this free time I have. Taking care of Blu doesn't take up much of my day. She's a pretty lazy dog and prefers to sleep a lot. 😂 It's been suggested that I take up a hobby, but one thing grieving does is make even the simplest decisions difficult. And when you finally do make a decision, you find yourself second-guessing it. Maybe, for now, I'm just meant to learn to relax. That's definitely something I haven't done in many years. Soon hopefully I'll start thinking of where I'm at as home. ❤️